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11/8/13 Leicester A 16:15
Championship 2013-14
Last Match

3/8/2013
2-1 v Brighton
McCormack (19)
Murphy (90)
Att: 33,432

Championship
League One 2008-09 5/4/2009
   
P
GD
PTS
1 Leicester 41 37 83
2 Peterborough 41 24 81

3 Millwall 41 13 76
4 MK Dons 40 31 72
5 Leeds United 40 22 71
6 Scunthorpe 39 17 67

7 Southend 41 -2 64
8 Tranmere 40 11 63
9 Oldham 41 2 59
10 Stockport 41 5 57
11 Colchester 41 -1 57
12 Huddersfield 41 -6 57
13 Walsall 41 -4 55
14 Bristol Rovers 39 17 54
15 Leyton Orient 40 -11 48
16 Hartlepool 41 -9 46
17 Yeovil T 40 -23 46
18 Swindon T 41 -4 45
19 Carlisle 41 -14 44
20 Crewe 41 -18 44

21 Northampton 39 -1 42
22 Brighton 39 -20 36
23 Hereford 39 -29 33
24 Cheltenham 40 -37 31

“   ”

Jokes: page 9

Jokes: - [1] : [2] : [3] : [4] : [5] : [6] : [7] : [8] : [9] : [10] : Gary Neville Diary

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him.

After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.

Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers.

At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar.

Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.

Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?" "I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."

Submitted by Lee Cope, Wakefield


Male and Female Prayers.
FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.

MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
Amen.

Submitted by Lee Cope, Wakefield


Condoms

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept the same tag-line...

  • The Manchester United Condom... One Yank and your whole world falls apart.
  • Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better
  • Tesco Condoms - every little helps
  • Nike Condoms - Just do it.
  • Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
  • Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
  • KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
  • Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
  • Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.
  • Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough.
  • Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
  • Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
  • Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop
  • Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
  • Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
  • FCUK condoms - no comment required.
  • Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.
  • Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.
  • Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
  • Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
  • Renault condoms - size really does matter!
  • Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
  • Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes
  • Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim (Please!!!)
  • Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
  • Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world
  • AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
  • Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal
  • Polo condoms - the condom with the hole

    Submitted by Lee Cope, Wakefield

  • The Penis Study In 2004

    The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's Penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

    After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

    The Eenglish , unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around £75.46, and 2 cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.

    Submitted by Lee Cope, Wakefield

    Jokes: - [1] : [2] : [3] : [4] : [5] : [6] : [7] : [8] : [9] : [10] : Gary Neville Diary

    All rights reserved © 2001-2013 Chris J Hudson
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    LeedsUtd365 and "leedsutd365.co.uk" are trademarks of MacGold Direct Ltd
    http://www.twitter.com/leedsutd365

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    All rights reserved © 2001-2013 Chris J Hudson
    No reproduction in whole or part without prior written consent
    Unauthorised web reproduction will be billed at £75 per article or part thereof.
    LeedsUtd365 and "leedsutd365.co.uk" are trademarks of MacGold Direct Ltd
    http://www.twitter.com/leedsutd365