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Gary McAllister
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Following their working lunch a week last Tuesday, Ken Bates indicated that he and Gary McAllister had discussed all the Gary’s transfer targets and that there would be no further comment until signings were made.

This has been the sensible stance taken by Ken since he took over Leeds and we have generally managed to avoid the media circus surrounding equally famous clubs.

However, with the pleasing exception of Jonny Howson signing a new contract there has been nothing concrete to report for eight days and Gary McAllister has come out to speak to the official Leeds United website to reassure Leeds fans that he and the club are indeed working hard to land the players they want but their approach is that of a poker player rather than a nutter on a shopping spree with someone else’s credit card.

“We’ve had thousands of names thrown at us from hundreds of agents and it’s a case of going through every proposition and looking at the players I think can make us better,” said Gary.

“Some of the players you have seen us linked with I have spoken to, and we’re looking at that calibre of player. It takes special players to come here who can play in front of a big crowd.

“We are looking at the other end of the scale as well for young players who can excite the crowd. We want to play an attacking style, and we’ll continue to look.

“Ideally you would like the players here knowing they are doing their pre-season here, but at the same time we’re not rushing in.

“It is quiet at the moment and it’s a case of being patient, but I am happy that we are moving along quite nicely with certain things.”

McAllister referred obliquely to the rumour that he is using his Anfield connections to bring two of their exciting, rising reserve players to Elland Road,

“We are looking at youngsters at Premiership clubs and making loads of enquiries.”

“The facilities here are that of a Premiership club and hopefully the players will realise they will play the proper way here.”

Finally Gary turned his attention to the on-off departure of Anthony Elding to Crewe Alexandra which only ended when Elding decided to stay and fight for his place at Leeds United; though he didn’t give Elding much room for hope,

“I’ve spoken with Anthony and like the majority I can’t guarantee him regular first team football. He wants to play, of course, and it may be that he finds that somewhere else, but while he’s here he is a Leeds player.”

So Gary’s message is be patient, we are looking to build for the medium term future as well as next season and we’ll let you know when we strike paydirt!

All of which is eminently reasonable if a little disappointing in terms of hard facts - but better than absolute silence!

To the relief of some Leeds United fans, former Newcastle United chairman Freddy Shepherd has ruled himself out of buying a stake in Leeds United alongside ex-Chelsea chairman Ken Bates.

Although most Leeds fans would welcome an injection of investment cash from whatever source, the revelation that Shepherd had merely dined with Bates in September 2007 caused huge speculation and a negative outcry from Whites supporters.

But today the logical decision seems to be the favoured option as Freddy Shepherd is rumoured to be looking at buying a stake in his local Spanish team Real Mallorca.

“All I can say is we’re in discussions, We now live in Majorca most of the year and they have always been our second team.”

“Leeds is too fookin’ cald! - I divna want ta freeze ma nuts aff fer another ten years like I did at the Toon!” said Freddy… (or maybe we made that last bit up).

The kick-off times for the Leeds United away games at Carlisle United, Huddersfield Town and Yeovil Town have been brought forward “on police advice”.

The Obersturmbahnfuhrer in charge of Football Intelligence (SS Division Dumbkopf) apparently found a plot amongst Leeds fans to use Weapons of Mass Destruction during League One matches throughout the country next season.

There is no reason for any of these measures except over-zealous police forces misusing their powers to avoid having to do a hard days work by letting the Leeds public do what they are entitled to do - that is attend a sporting event at the designated kick-off times available to every other club except for Leeds United.

I’m not going to bother giving out the revised times as I won’t be going and I think all Leeds fans should give the Football League, the clubs, and the police the two-fingers and boycott the matches.

If a shop keeper said he didn’t like me or want me in his shop I certainly wouldn’t spend a penny there and I make no exception for these pathetic little clubs. If you’re daft enough to give a profit to people who hate you then you get what you deserve. Until you stand up to this treatment you will get it as a matter of course, not public order. Scunthorpe, Peterborough, Rotherham, Yeovil, Huddersfield and Carlisle all think you’re gullible fools, who are you going to allow to spit in your face next?

Despite the dozen or so alterations last season, Leeds United fans attended away games in greater numbers than any other Football league side - see, the police can’t even get that right… but it doesn’t excuse either their abuse of power nor the Leeds’ fans quiet acceptance of their insulting treatment.

“Our father who art in heaven,
deliver us from Leeds fans..”
SYP Asst Chief Constable

Image by incurable_hippie via Flickr

The South Yorkshire Klavern of the Gefusspo have caused the Rotherham v Leeds United pre-season friendly to be cancelled.

In an extraordinary display of ineptitude South Yorkshire Police have admitted they cannot police a friendly football match between Rotherham United and Leeds United.

Given that they were able to police the fixture in the Championship three seasons ago we are awaiting a public statement from the Chief Constable of South Yorkshire as to what terrible fate has befallen his officers/and or his budget that he is no longer able to police simple domestic sporting events between two Yorkshire teams.

This clearly raises questions as to the fitness of the South Yorkshire constabulary to contribute in any meaningful way to the fight against terrorism or indeed school crossing patrols.

It is rumoured that the South Yorkshire police have asked Sheffield United and Sheffield Wednesday if one of them wouldn’t mind disbanding as they can’t really be expected to police two football grounds during the season.

The immediate resignation of the Chief Constable is expected any day. Did you know that from September 2006 the Chief Constable of South Yorkshire earns over £133,000 per year! Hands up everyone whose first thought was “value-for-money”? Feel free to add your comments below.

(Police apologists - please note the content of this article is protected under Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights).